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Courting too slow November 26, 2009

Posted by Fiona in Law, Sheer bloody-mindedness.

‘So come all you bold fellows and pray take my advice
And when you go a-courting now don’t you be too nice
But you kiss all them pretty girls and you let them for to know
That you don’t mean to lose them by courting too slow
That you don’t mean to lose them by courting too slow’

-Spiers and Boden

The last two days, I have ignored my essaying completely.  (This is a stupid thing to do.)  I have instead been looking at the graduate websites, getting a bit intimate with Milkround (ooh) and looking for internships over the summer.  This is by no means fun, if you have no idea what you want to do ‘except for not that’ every time you find something possible.  It’s interesting to see the difference between specifically legal graduate websites and miscellaneous business ones: who sells their business to you, who clearly takes pains to make their image and ethos clear, to emphasis the variety of things to do, the support you’ll have… and who mentions that they have a swimming pool.

But you know the thing is that I’m scared.  I’m scared that I haven’t done enough work – my marks last year weren’t the best, it must be said; I’m not going to get a good job on the strength of them.  I’m scared I haven’t got enough experience (which, apparently, you seem to need a bit of for a lot of the graduate placements I’m looking at – does this seem a bit counterintuitive to you?), and that I don’t have the almost manic enthusiasm that a lot of them seem to be looking for.  I don’t live and breathe law, or economics, and I only have one language.  It turns out this is a Bad Thing.  I worry so much that I’ve missed the boat on all the things I could have done.

But what I’m most terrified of is that I’m just not a good enough lawyer, because that means it’s out of my hands entirely and, quite frankly, when it comes down to it I can read the FT as many times as I care to mention but if I really am just not very good, it’s all just pissing in the wind.

Blah.  I’m sorry.  This has turned all a bit self-indulgent recently.  I shall leave it at this list then: Price Waterhouse Coopers, John Lewis, Deutsche Bank, BAA, the Government Legal Service, DLA Piper.  Headdesk.  Also, for anyone who’s ever met my mum (who did a business degree, is a HR consultant working in recruitment and and generally consulting for about five different companies on employment law… about which she knows a vast amount and gets over-enthusiastic when anyone shows an interest) …I hate to say it but I think I’m turning into her.

There are other things I want to say but I’m turning into a broken record at the moment.  However: West Side Story at the Gala.  Next term.  Props list.  FINALLY.  I’m so looking forward to this.  And they’re not even making me find dress forms.  JOY.



1. Flix - November 27, 2009

Hmm. Courting too slow. Is there such a thing? I’m unsure how this directly relates to the rest of the entry, but it’s got me thinking nonetheless.

2. Callan - November 27, 2009

@ Flix: There is, it manifests itself as a failure to court at all.

& Fi: It’s tricky looing for jobs, but you’ve got to keep firmly in the centre of your mind that massive pinch of salt – job adverts look way over-spec because they know people exaggerate and sometimes full-on lie. So long as you can express a tiny degree of interest and energy you’ll be on a winner.

The experience thing is, in my experience, a bit of a misnomer as well. Apply anyway, you may be surprised.

3. thewariefiend - November 27, 2009

I’m getting this feeling a little from an entirely different direction – on reading the advice and explanation section of my university handbook on ‘calculating your degree’ I have disvered that the system used is by far and away the most complex thing humanity has ever invented. I’m finding it genuinely impossible to undersatnd anything more than the general idea and this frightens a part of me.
I know little in these appliation matters but Callan’s comments seem exactly the kidn oflogic fear-quietening thing I’d write if I knew more. So read them and take heart. ‘You may surprise yourself’ is the best advice anyone can give in so many cases.

4. Jenny - November 28, 2009

Yes, I think there is such a thing as courting too slow, but there is also courting too fast insofar as suddenly things are a lot more serious than they should be for two people who have known each other for that amount of time, but to be honest, these things take the time they take, because they take on a life of their own.

meanwhile callan is right; furthermore, miss, you shine. You really do. You may not have done enough work, equally you may have done just exactly enough and the ‘not enough’ is only in your head. But you have something – drive, and determination, and you work hard and you *have a filofax* and you’re so very employable, even if you can’t see it yourself. Don’t worry.

Meanwhile if you *are* constantly thinking ‘just not that’ at every opportunity, think outside the box. You’ll come out of Durham with a respectable degree in a respectable subject and that does not mean that you then *have* to do something lawyerly – because you’ve got the transferable skills and the mindset and so on to do so many other things very well indeed – so find out what you *do* want to do and then find a way to do it. Worst comes the worst, you do a Jenny Mohan and go back to university again – and would that be *so* bad?

Basically and in a nutshell, the world is your oyster, love. Savour it. xxx

5. teacherface - November 28, 2009

There is definitely such a thing as courting to slow – more than a little bit frustrating and both lose out.

It seems a little ‘lacking’, but all I feel I can say is: hang in there 🙂 xx

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