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Something to do October 7, 2009

Posted by Fiona in Big things, Bwargh, Craftiness, Knitting, Law, University.
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Term officially starts tomorrow, and about time too.  This is what I’ve been doing for the last few days:

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(Could that possibly be a knitting needle poking out at the bottom of the picture?  Or a poster advertising a show on the wall in the top right corner?  Surely not.)

The Degree is both neverending and eternally expanding, clearly.  I’ve decided Land Law is just the essay to start me going with the term, because of course it is the most exciting subject I’m studying this year, and thus I’ve been making a bit of a week of it.  It’s reminded me partly why I love essaying – teaching yourself a topic and having something concrete to work towards makes all the difference.  Partly, though, I’ve remembered why I don’t want to do a postgraduate course.  I can sit and work for hours at a stretch.  I’m even good at it, sometimes.  When I get going I work like the clappers and get a hell of a lot done.  But I’m sick of it.  I’ll hang on the next two years because I find the subject matter so interesting, but I am not suited to academia and academia is not suited to me.

Now I’ve realised this, it’s thrown a couple of questions into sharp relief.  These mainly focus around 1) What are you doing at university doing a very academic course then anyway you fool; and 2) What are you going to do when you’re done with it? aha burnt your bridges a bit there didn’t you.  I don’t want to feel like I’m just sticking out the next few years, and I love Law, you have to believe me I find it the most fascinating thing in the world, you read my last post, didn’t you?  But sitting at a desk with one light on, concentrating only on what’s in front of my nose, for twelve hours out of twenty four at a stretch is not right.  For me.  Not right for me.  I can do it, but I don’t want to.

I don’t know where I’m going.  I used to, but I’m not quite good enough or naturally clever enough or dedicated enough or academic enough to do anything I used to want to do.

All of which is to say that I feel a bit like a fish out of water as far as those books are concerned at the moment.  Also that I don’t think I’ve really admitted all that to myself before.  Well, there you go, you’re going at the same speed as I am now.

On a cheered up and far less careers related note (knitting for a living makes you a very special, very lucky bugger indeed), I would like to tell you that I have finished knitting something beautiful and obscenely quick (knitters can do instant gratification too you know), and I’d love to show you a picture but it is for my sister who I believe occasionally reads this blog.  It’s her sixteenth in a week or so.  Anyway, it’s stunning, and I think the colour is perfect for her, and hence I am practically hopping up and down I am that excited about giving it to her.  So here, in lieu of a picture of it finished, have a picture of the remains of the ball, so you can see what a fabulous colour it is for a redhead.  It’s that Manos del Uruguay silk blend that I bought last week, and it’s so soft, and so easy to work with.  And I’m going to make something extra out of the rest of the ball because I can’t bear to see it go back in my stash all rolled up and without any chance to stroke it again.

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Isn’t that just stunning?  I almost don’t want to give it away.  I am absolutely converted to this stuff.  Mmm.

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